Kobe Bryant, listening at bedtime

When Kobe and Vanessa tucked young Natalia into bed, they asked her to make up a story for them. She remembered beginning with a princess, while her parents listened to the story she invented.¹

Kobe and his thirteen-year-old daughter Gianna died with seven other people in a helicopter crash on January 26, 2020. Much of what his wife and daughters have said publicly since describes the father they knew at home.³

Gianna’s game

Fans sometimes told Kobe he needed a son to carry on his basketball legacy. He remembered them saying it with Gianna standing right beside him. She wanted to play for Connecticut and eventually in the WNBA; she promptly pointed out that she could carry it herself. Her father agreed. He was already raising the basketball player they thought he needed.⁵

After retirement, Gianna’s love of basketball drew him back to watching games. He could enjoy the sport again through her eyes.¹¹

His coaching started with this: “You’re my daughter before you’re a basketball player.”⁷

He delighted in her nerve. In 2018, he recalled coaching a game in which Gianna went to the free-throw line with the win at stake. People around the court held up their phones. She looked at them, closed her eyes, took a couple of deep breaths and made the shots. Her father remembered every small action that got her through the pressure.¹²

He wanted sport to help his girls with the feelings that came after a mistake. In tennis, three bad shots still left a fourth to play. A great set also had to be put behind you. “How do you navigate those inner emotions?” he asked in 2019. That was something he wanted to teach his daughters, long after any particular result had stopped mattering.⁸

His former players remembered a coach who noticed small details and seldom raised his voice. One former player recalled him giving them room to work things out. Another carried his view of mistakes as chances to grow into life beyond basketball. He could take a girls’ game seriously without making every error a crisis.¹⁴

Another mother remembered her daughter making a three-pointer against Gianna’s team. Kobe walked onto the court to congratulate the girl who had just scored against his players.⁶

Sometimes his job was to stay back. At the February 2020 memorial, UConn’s coach recalled Gianna's delight on her first visit to a Huskies game, meeting players she regarded as royalty. Kobe kept his distance in the locker room so people taking photographs would not realize whose daughter she was. The coach remembered him letting her have that moment with her heroes.¹³

Being there for each girl

Then his own advice came back at him. Kobe was nervous about turning Dear Basketball into a film. At home, as the family talked about it, Gianna told him: “Well, Dad, you always tell us to go after our dreams, so man up.” Recalling that exchange after winning the Oscar in 2018, he called it the best advice he had received. His daughter expected him to follow through too. Onstage that night, he thanked Vanessa and their daughters, then told them in Italian that he loved them with all his heart.^{9, 10}

After retiring from basketball, Kobe took over the school runs while Vanessa was pregnant with Bianka and later nursing Capri. Vanessa had always arrived early for pickup. When Kobe was late once, the family reminded him of her record. He responded by arriving an hour and twenty minutes early.⁴

At home, he helped bathe the younger girls and sang silly songs to make them laugh. He said getting Capri to sleep took eight trips up and down the hallway in his arms. Vanessa remembered him telling the girls how beautiful and smart they were. He took Bianka to watch the koi pond, including on the evening before he died. Gianna baked him a decorated birthday cake; she watched cooking shows with her mother and Survivor and basketball with her dad. Family movie nights were something she loved.⁴

His interest in Natalia's sport came out in a recognizably Kobe way. Watching her play volleyball, Vanessa said, he admired her court vision and imagined her as a point guard. Natalia remembered sitting courtside with him at a USC–Oregon volleyball match in November 2019, watching the game she played herself.^{4, 2}

He shared movies with Natalia too. She remembered a midnight showing of The Rise of Skywalker with him. On the drive home, she chose Taylor Swift for the soundtrack and they talked Star Wars. She wanted to watch the entire franchise that night. Once home, she fell asleep during the first half of the first film.²

In 2018, a television host asked how he would feel if he and Vanessa had another girl. The host later recalled his answer: “I would have five more girls if I could.” He already loved being a father to daughters; another girl sounded like more of a life he wanted.¹⁶

An audience of his own

His daughters helped give his work after basketball a direction. “I need to create content for my children,” he said in 2019. He wanted stories that brought fantasy and sport together for children who loved both. Having spent years being watched, he now had particular people he wanted to make something for.⁸

He wanted his daughters to see girl athletes at the center of those stories. They had also heard plenty of advice from Dad about persistence, hard work and believing in themselves. In 2019, he explained that a book could get those ideas across “without having their parents in their ear all the time.” His girls could discover the message through a character, instead of hearing the same speech from him again.¹⁵

He also enjoyed being in the audience. Natalia’s memories of watching Harry Potter, Marvel films and The Goonies with him sat alongside the conversations those films gave them. His interest made room for hers. A father could share the thing he loved, then stay curious when his daughter chose something of her own.³

At bedtime, he and Vanessa gave Natalia a turn to tell the story. They wanted to hear what she imagined.¹